'A Dirty Brown Habit'

Once Keef asked me if I would like to go to the Biggin Hill Air Fair air display with him, by car. In those days he had a nice little blue Alfa two-seater. When I arrived at Glebe Place he had his son Coki with him. "Witchard, be a good chap, Coki wants to sit in the fwont, would you mind sitting in the back, there's a good chap?" So I sat in the back, God knows how. It was so cramped my nose was wedged firmly up my own arse and I thought I was going to pass out. After we arrived at Biggin Hill' and I had straightened out' I bought a large cwt bar of Cadbury's chocolate and, knowing Coki's weakness for chocolate, fed him most of the bar throughout the afternoon. In due course the greedy little basket went pale and then honked himself practically inside out. When it was time to go home he didn't want to sit in the front. Instead he curled up in the back, under a blanket, and we didn't hear a peep from him the entire journey. I wonder what he and those two pretty girls are doing today.